Are self doubt and fear keeping you from doing the things you want to do in life? Do you have dreams, goals and expectations of yourself? Do you sometimes get frustrated and mad at yourself because you are not doing whatever to make these things happen? You are not alone, and the good news is that there is something you can do about it.
Remember when you were a kid and and person asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? What was your answer?
Legolive
A fire fighter, a movie star, Indiana Jones, a Lego man... Yes, and I bet you didn't flinch for a second or plan is this as a matter of fact going to be inherent at all, or how am I going to do this, or I am just not good sufficient to be a Lego man!
You believed whatever can be possible. Your mind was working effectively: You want, you imagine, you get.
Many of my clients tell me they are in jobs they hate and that they would love to be able to start their own business, or go back to college, or travel the world... But they haven't done whatever about it. When I ask them what's stopping them the reply is usually: I don't know if I am good enough, or, I don't think I can do it, or what if I fail?
Human self doubt and fear fascinates me. I say human because sometimes I can't help comparing us to the animal kingdom. Let me explain:
African lions must hunt daily to survive. Actually, this seems to be the lionesses' task and often they'll hunt together. They'll go somewhere where they know their prey is likely to hang out. Ordinarily close to water.
How do I know this? Thanks to David Attenborough!
The lionesses see their prey, devise a strategy, take action. They chase the prey until they make the kill, or the animal manages to get away. If they succeed, great! If the prey gets away, what do they do?
Do they spend hours on end feeling bad about themselves for having failed? Do they decide there is no point in trying to hunt again in case they fail? Do they give up hunting altogether as it seems they are no good at it cos they failed before?
No, they don't. They look for the next opportunity.
Once I gave a client of mine this example and he said: how can you compare, if lions stop hunting they'll die and just get extinct. To which I replied:
Well, in my view, if you are not hunting for the things you want in your life, then you are not as a matter of fact living anyway. If you spend your life wishing things were different, while doing nothing to convert your situation... If all you do is feel bad about the fact you are not doing anything, doubting your potential to do what you were born to do, fearing the lessons and successes that come from failure... If you are not at least trying to live your best life... Are you as a matter of fact alive?
A good friend once shyly confided in me that they could not ride a bike without stabilisers. I know a lot of population who can't but they are all under ten years of age. My friend is twenty two. I asked how come he couldn't ride a bike without stabilisers. I knew my friend had been badly bullied as a child and I assumed maybe that had something to do with it. He said not at all. I asked if it his parents hadn't taught him. He said they had as a matter of fact tried. Then I got as a matter of fact absorbing and asked:
What happened then?
He replied: I guess I one day I just told myself I couldn't do it... And so, I didn't do it.
What is the main divergence in the middle of you and that person who is living the life you would love to live, doing the things you want to do? Is it talent? Is it to do with knowledge, experience, communal status, money...?
Is it inherent that they also doubt their potential sometimes? Do they make mistakes? Do they have ups and downs?
I believe author Susan Jeffers hit the nail in the head when she wrote: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
As humans we learn to be fearful from an early age. We were told not to put our fingers in an galvanic appliance or to talk to strangers... Which makes sense. But were you ever taught to be fearful of something you haven't tried yet? Also, who taught you to doubt yourself and your abilities, and for what reason?
In my plan the main theorize person who is doing what you would like to do and living the kind of life you would like to live is that they may be feeling the fear too, and going for it anyway. So, what are you going to do about it?
Anna Aparicio
Iinlp Life & Success Coach
Live Like a Lion
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